Not many people know this about me, but I enjoy writing poetry. I thought I'd share some of my favorites with you. Please remember that all of these poems were written by ME, so please don't steal any of my work. Please also keep in mind that some of these poems were written at different times in my life so don't judge me. Feel free to comment, though.
Skin
It seems these days/It's all about the birds and the bees/And all you see is knees/And skin, oh skin, it's everywhere
What happened to our modest ways/It seems like they've been left in the past/Why couldn't we have made them last /Just a tad bit longer?
Wearing your shorts a little shorter/Your shirts a little smaller/Doesn't make you cooler/(at least that's what I learned)
But apparently,/My ways are old school/And that does nothing for my cool/But I can live with that
I hope this simple rhyme/Makes you stop and think/And realize that looking like a skank/Doesn't make you pretty
Questions
Why is the grass green? Why is the sky blue? Why is water wet? I'll leave that up to you.
What makes some cars go? and others stop? To find out, do I look on the bottom? or the top?
Is the world really round? Was Galileo right? Now settle down, let's not get in a fight.
Why do some, wonder about so many things, asking questions so constantly, you'd think they're insane?
A Father's only Wish
With tears in his eyes/ he refuses to say good bye/ he's determined to hang on/ one last night/ because he knows that through this strife/ his father needs him
He felt like it was all his fault/ from the day that he was born/ that his mama died/ bringin' him into this world/ and since that day/ it's been just him and his dad
There was no doubt in his mind/ the day the cancer struck/ how devastated his dad would be/ and it seemed like bad luck/ that he was specifically plucked/ for this daunting task/ but he remembered a verse/ his father always shared with him
It was a promise from his Lord above/ never to give him more than he can handle/ that his plans are for good/ never for evil
It was in that moment that he realized/ as he slipped away, that it didn't matter/ that he was only six/ he had followed God's plans/ and, with that, granted his father's only wish
Let them Carry You
When the world's engulfed in flames/ and the heat causes searing pain/ step back and let Tchaikovsky/ carry you away
When the wind blows off your roof/ who will be there to soothe/ just allow Beethoven/ to carry you away
When tsunamis flood the earth/ will there be a new birth/ will we let ourselves overcome the pain/ and let Mozart/ carry us away
When nations are in uproar/ and we just can't take any more/ who will be the one/ to carry us away?
Leaves
Like a leaf on a tree/ green with youth, bursting/ with vivid energy of being new
But day turns to nigh'/ and again the sun will rise/ here/ on the breathless morn
Spring fades/ summer emerges from the grey/ this rebellious stage/ sets in/ wishing, wanting, praying to get away/ but you never quite can
But day turns to nigh'/ and again the sun will rise/ here/ on the breathless morn
Summer gives 'way/ to clear, chilly day/ of autumn/ summer leaf gets its wish/ and finally gets to fall
Then day turns to nigh' and again the sun will rise/ here/ on the breathless morn
A Thousand Times
A thousand times/ I've walked the line/ between good and evil
And a thousand times/ I've fallen/ on the wrong side
I get up/ and I'll try/ a thousand times over
Before I finally/ get it right/
WARNING: this next one is fairly... disturbing
13 Knots
I come to this place/ with a heavy heart/ tears on my face/ no will to restart
As I tie the rope/ I know this is a mistake/ 13 knots in all/ I start to shake
#1/ I'm done/ with meeting all your needs/ being perfect/ just trying to please
#2/ the dew/ on the rose outside the window/ the reminder of how perfect everything is/ how perfect I'm not/ I draw the curtains shut
#3/ the cool breeze/ comes through/ chilling me to the bone/ from where, I wonder/ deep within the soul
#4/ the hardwood floor/ harder and colder than ever before/ I've hit rock bottom/ the rain begins to pour
#5/ I feel/ insanely alive/ so close to death/ so awake, so alert/ ready to dive
#6/ I start to mix/ all the drinks/ hoping to numb the pain/ and it does/ for a while/ then it starts again
#7/ heaven/ was that my goal/ or my parents/ half way there/ half way gone
#8/ I'm late/ to school, the first time ever/ who cares/ I call in sick/ I ain't perfect/ they'll learn
#9/ I'm confined/ but that's all right/ 'cause you give me space/ I'll run away/ that's not okay
#10/ I cannot fend/ for myself anymore/ there's got to be more/ to this life/ but I can't find it
#11/ when, oh when/ will people know my name/ and recognize that I am human/ when will they love me/ for me
#12/ I torture myself/ razors to the wrist/ now ropes to the throat/ but why/ to torture you or I
#13/ the time has come/ this is it/ I say good bye/ and walk away
Sorrow
Why is it so easy/ to fall in love/ with the sadness of another
To find the beauty/ of the sorrow that consumes their soul/ so undeniably attractive
Love me Still
Spiral bound, beating heart, torn up, card board box, I give to you, all I have, hoping, you'll love me still
High School Haikus
Annoying people, and idiots everywhere, high school sucks big time
Packed crowded hallways, screaming and shouts all around, bumping and shoving
Dear lil 8th grader, not much to look forward to, this is very bad
Nerds, geeks, emos, goths/ preppy girls and meat head jocks/ shoved in their own box
Well... that's enough of boring all my readers today. I hope this shows you some different sides of me. If I bored you to sleep, I sincerely apologize. If you made it all the way through this alive, please let me know in the comment section, pretty pretty please.
Have a wonderful day and I'll see you after vacation :)
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Me
I made a somewhat extremely obvious observation earlier today. If you don't know me, then... you don't know me. If you aren't involved in my daily life, then you have no clue about me or my inner workings. Let's change that.
I'm 15 and preparing for my second year of high school. I'm active. I play golf and softball competitively, and basketball on my own. I like to compete. I'm hoping to be captain of our scholastic bowl team next school year. I'm a nerd. As if the scholastic bowl thing wasn't geeky enough, I was on the math team. It was kinda cool when I was the only under-classmen from our school to make it to the state competition, though. I love making music. As of this second, I play clarinet (2nd chair as a freshman) alto and tenor saxophone, a lil bit of trumpet and flute, Irish tin whistle (that's a fun one), keyboard, piano, bass guitar, 6 string guitar, and ukulele. I'm sure that list will grow continually, though. I love to learn. When you love to learn and you love to win, why not push yourself to be valedictorian? That's been a personal goal of mine for a while now. After 25% of my journey through the hell-hole they call high school, I'm ranked #1. I still have the most challenging classes ahead. Fingers are crossed, though.
If you've read my previous couple of posts, which I suggest you do, you probably would gather that I am in LOVE with the Lord. That would be correct. That's not always been the case, though. I've grown up in the church. I got baptised when I was 8. I sang all the songs, clapping along when necessary. I had a Christian mask on. I wore it so long and so often that I put all my effort into keeping the mask on, rather than taking a look at what I was wearing. Thankfully, this year it's all changed. I've made my faith real. It's legit. I am not ashamed. I LOVE GOD!
So what's in the future? Well... in the near future, like Thursday, my family and I are heading up north. My father's parents own a cabin on Twin Bear Lake in Iron River, WI. It's about a 10 hour drive from here. It should be really fun, though. It's great there. However, there's no TV, Internet, or cell service there so when I disappear from June 30th through the middle of July, this is where I will be. I'm not ignoring all zero of my readers.
The fun continues. The day after I return from vaca will be spent laundering all of my clothes. Yay... It will be worth it, though, because the day after that, I will be off to Little Galilee for a week! The most amazing church camp ever!! I'll try and jot down a blog while waiting on my shorts to dry.
The far off future: I've already mentioned my yearning to be valedictorian. After that, I've narrowed it down to two choices. A) going to the University of Illinois and majoring in chemical and bio molecular engineering or B) going into the United States Air Force and being a scientist (basically being a chemical engineer). After either one, though, I'd like to get my doctorate in chemical and bio molecular engineering so I can add my name to all the research I do, instead of doing all the work and then attaching some old rich dude's name to it.
All in all, I'm a pretty happy person. I really enjoy my life. I fight with my 8 year old sister constantly. I find my mom annoyingly over-protective and my dad well... we get along usually. We just give each other our space. Through all of that though, I'm happy. It's not that I don't have my bad days. Oh gosh, I have PLENTY of those, but why should I give up when I have a mighty father in Heaven who says this...
"For I know the plans that I have for you," declared the Lord, "Plans of good, never for evil. Plans for a future and of hope. In those hard days when you pray, I will listen. If you are truly looking for me, you will find me." -Jeremiah 29:11-13
He's never let me down :)
I'm 15 and preparing for my second year of high school. I'm active. I play golf and softball competitively, and basketball on my own. I like to compete. I'm hoping to be captain of our scholastic bowl team next school year. I'm a nerd. As if the scholastic bowl thing wasn't geeky enough, I was on the math team. It was kinda cool when I was the only under-classmen from our school to make it to the state competition, though. I love making music. As of this second, I play clarinet (2nd chair as a freshman) alto and tenor saxophone, a lil bit of trumpet and flute, Irish tin whistle (that's a fun one), keyboard, piano, bass guitar, 6 string guitar, and ukulele. I'm sure that list will grow continually, though. I love to learn. When you love to learn and you love to win, why not push yourself to be valedictorian? That's been a personal goal of mine for a while now. After 25% of my journey through the hell-hole they call high school, I'm ranked #1. I still have the most challenging classes ahead. Fingers are crossed, though.
If you've read my previous couple of posts, which I suggest you do, you probably would gather that I am in LOVE with the Lord. That would be correct. That's not always been the case, though. I've grown up in the church. I got baptised when I was 8. I sang all the songs, clapping along when necessary. I had a Christian mask on. I wore it so long and so often that I put all my effort into keeping the mask on, rather than taking a look at what I was wearing. Thankfully, this year it's all changed. I've made my faith real. It's legit. I am not ashamed. I LOVE GOD!
So what's in the future? Well... in the near future, like Thursday, my family and I are heading up north. My father's parents own a cabin on Twin Bear Lake in Iron River, WI. It's about a 10 hour drive from here. It should be really fun, though. It's great there. However, there's no TV, Internet, or cell service there so when I disappear from June 30th through the middle of July, this is where I will be. I'm not ignoring all zero of my readers.
 |
| The beautiful lake |
The fun continues. The day after I return from vaca will be spent laundering all of my clothes. Yay... It will be worth it, though, because the day after that, I will be off to Little Galilee for a week! The most amazing church camp ever!! I'll try and jot down a blog while waiting on my shorts to dry.
The far off future: I've already mentioned my yearning to be valedictorian. After that, I've narrowed it down to two choices. A) going to the University of Illinois and majoring in chemical and bio molecular engineering or B) going into the United States Air Force and being a scientist (basically being a chemical engineer). After either one, though, I'd like to get my doctorate in chemical and bio molecular engineering so I can add my name to all the research I do, instead of doing all the work and then attaching some old rich dude's name to it.
All in all, I'm a pretty happy person. I really enjoy my life. I fight with my 8 year old sister constantly. I find my mom annoyingly over-protective and my dad well... we get along usually. We just give each other our space. Through all of that though, I'm happy. It's not that I don't have my bad days. Oh gosh, I have PLENTY of those, but why should I give up when I have a mighty father in Heaven who says this...
"For I know the plans that I have for you," declared the Lord, "Plans of good, never for evil. Plans for a future and of hope. In those hard days when you pray, I will listen. If you are truly looking for me, you will find me." -Jeremiah 29:11-13
He's never let me down :)
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Crazy Times
I haven't had a lot of time to really connect with my friends since school got out, so I decided to text a few of them recently. I got some crazy results.
Friend #1: He LOVES music. He's crazy about it and he's crazy good too, he'd deny that though. He was a good Christian and I really respected and admired his commitment to the Lord. He wanted to go to Millikin University for music education. He wanted to teach music and share his love, enthusiasm, and joy for it with others. Well, about a month ago, Friend #1 and I broke up after 10 months together. I hadn't really talked to him since but I decided to text him and see what was crackin'. The results were astounding. He said that lately, he's been digging more and more into the Bible. In fact, at the time I texted him, he had just wrapped up a 2 and a half prayer and reading session. He said that he'd been praying a lot about his future. He said he feels like God is calling to go into youth ministry, not music. WOW! I was shocked. If you know this guy, you know that he runs on music, but I know that all that passion and energy that he has for music, he will have so much more for God and spreading the His word. He's already touched so many peoples' lives, and I know he will touch so many more.
Friend #2: I hadn't talked to her since May 20 on the last day of school. Last I heard, she was wrapped up with some jerk off guy that had one thing on his mind... and it certainly wasn't God. She was such a great girl though. Why him?? As much as I tried to be a supportive friend to her, I would be lying if I said I wasn't totally and completely relieved when she told me they broke up. She said she didn't miss him at all and since the break up, she's really been getting into her Bible. How cool is this?? 2 friends in one day! She said she totally understood how I've felt recently since getting into my Bible more. She understood the excitement and fulfillment that God had provided in my life. A friend that understands is priceless.
Friend #3: I haven't known her for very long. We went to church camp together last summer, but she moved to our school this year. We had a class together first semester and she came to my small group most weeks. I still feel like I don't really know her, though. That's something I need to work on... getting to know people more. Not know more people, but know people more. Anyways... I sent her a text just to see how she had been doing since school got out. She said her summer had been crazy. She had been to two retreats in the past two weeks and the day that I talked to her, she was in Arizona on a mission trip. I asked if through all those retreats and mission trips she felt closer to God. She described the same thing that I had felt a gazillion times. She said she was on a total spiritual high after the first retreat but in the past couple of weeks, she's been falling into the "blah hole" as she put it. That burnt out feeling you get after the spiritual high. She said that hearing from me, and all that I've experienced lately had really inspired her and she was going to try harder to make that daily time for God. As she put it, "I have too much of Him in my heart, to let it all go to waste"
Friend #4: We haven't talked for a year. We used to be inseparable, but something happened and we grew apart. She sent me a text today. "I miss our friendship, so can we forget about all the drama and start being friends again?" What an awesome opportunity. She's kinda flirted with Christianity before, but she's never made the commitment. We started off with typical girl talk, chatting about boys and such. She told me that she's been getting involved with this guy, but there's a couple of problems; He's going to college in the fall, he'll be 18 in a week or two, and her parents hate him. She said she was going to have to end, but she REALLY liked this guy. I saw my opportunity, I told her that I normally wouldn't do this, but I'd really changed in the past weeks and I suggested that she take a rest and open her Bible. Just make 10 minutes a day or whatever and just give it a chance. She confided in me that, over the past year, she had been doing a lot of thinking and she'd come to the conclusion that religion was a bunch of bologna, and she believed that god was not real. She was happy for me, but it wasn't for her. OUCH!! Prayer for the both of us, please.
Friendships are important in this life. Christian friendships are like nothing else. We need people in our life that will hold us accountantable for our actions. We need those people who will lift us up and support us through good times and bad. I remember my grandfather telling me when I was little, "You have to be a friend to get a friend." I know that I am lucky to have the friends that I do. I am so excited to hear how their faith has grow, but Friend #4 worries me.
My prayer for today is not only to grow closer to my friends and strengthen our friendship, but it's also to reach out and be a friend to those around me. We have so many opportunities to share about God in our day to day life and we need to take advantage of those. Friend #4 is a reminder of that. I pray that I can work with her and that through me, she will be able to see the glorious works God can do. I pray that God will show his mighty hand and that He will lift her up. Friendships are priceless. Lord, I thank you for the amazing and wonderful friends you have blessed me with. I pray that I can be that same type of friend to those around me.
"Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken." -Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Friend #1: He LOVES music. He's crazy about it and he's crazy good too, he'd deny that though. He was a good Christian and I really respected and admired his commitment to the Lord. He wanted to go to Millikin University for music education. He wanted to teach music and share his love, enthusiasm, and joy for it with others. Well, about a month ago, Friend #1 and I broke up after 10 months together. I hadn't really talked to him since but I decided to text him and see what was crackin'. The results were astounding. He said that lately, he's been digging more and more into the Bible. In fact, at the time I texted him, he had just wrapped up a 2 and a half prayer and reading session. He said that he'd been praying a lot about his future. He said he feels like God is calling to go into youth ministry, not music. WOW! I was shocked. If you know this guy, you know that he runs on music, but I know that all that passion and energy that he has for music, he will have so much more for God and spreading the His word. He's already touched so many peoples' lives, and I know he will touch so many more.
Friend #2: I hadn't talked to her since May 20 on the last day of school. Last I heard, she was wrapped up with some jerk off guy that had one thing on his mind... and it certainly wasn't God. She was such a great girl though. Why him?? As much as I tried to be a supportive friend to her, I would be lying if I said I wasn't totally and completely relieved when she told me they broke up. She said she didn't miss him at all and since the break up, she's really been getting into her Bible. How cool is this?? 2 friends in one day! She said she totally understood how I've felt recently since getting into my Bible more. She understood the excitement and fulfillment that God had provided in my life. A friend that understands is priceless.
Friend #3: I haven't known her for very long. We went to church camp together last summer, but she moved to our school this year. We had a class together first semester and she came to my small group most weeks. I still feel like I don't really know her, though. That's something I need to work on... getting to know people more. Not know more people, but know people more. Anyways... I sent her a text just to see how she had been doing since school got out. She said her summer had been crazy. She had been to two retreats in the past two weeks and the day that I talked to her, she was in Arizona on a mission trip. I asked if through all those retreats and mission trips she felt closer to God. She described the same thing that I had felt a gazillion times. She said she was on a total spiritual high after the first retreat but in the past couple of weeks, she's been falling into the "blah hole" as she put it. That burnt out feeling you get after the spiritual high. She said that hearing from me, and all that I've experienced lately had really inspired her and she was going to try harder to make that daily time for God. As she put it, "I have too much of Him in my heart, to let it all go to waste"
Friend #4: We haven't talked for a year. We used to be inseparable, but something happened and we grew apart. She sent me a text today. "I miss our friendship, so can we forget about all the drama and start being friends again?" What an awesome opportunity. She's kinda flirted with Christianity before, but she's never made the commitment. We started off with typical girl talk, chatting about boys and such. She told me that she's been getting involved with this guy, but there's a couple of problems; He's going to college in the fall, he'll be 18 in a week or two, and her parents hate him. She said she was going to have to end, but she REALLY liked this guy. I saw my opportunity, I told her that I normally wouldn't do this, but I'd really changed in the past weeks and I suggested that she take a rest and open her Bible. Just make 10 minutes a day or whatever and just give it a chance. She confided in me that, over the past year, she had been doing a lot of thinking and she'd come to the conclusion that religion was a bunch of bologna, and she believed that god was not real. She was happy for me, but it wasn't for her. OUCH!! Prayer for the both of us, please.
Friendships are important in this life. Christian friendships are like nothing else. We need people in our life that will hold us accountantable for our actions. We need those people who will lift us up and support us through good times and bad. I remember my grandfather telling me when I was little, "You have to be a friend to get a friend." I know that I am lucky to have the friends that I do. I am so excited to hear how their faith has grow, but Friend #4 worries me.
My prayer for today is not only to grow closer to my friends and strengthen our friendship, but it's also to reach out and be a friend to those around me. We have so many opportunities to share about God in our day to day life and we need to take advantage of those. Friend #4 is a reminder of that. I pray that I can work with her and that through me, she will be able to see the glorious works God can do. I pray that God will show his mighty hand and that He will lift her up. Friendships are priceless. Lord, I thank you for the amazing and wonderful friends you have blessed me with. I pray that I can be that same type of friend to those around me.
"Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken." -Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Thanks Joey (and my smart phone)
If you know anything about me, you may know that I have led a Christian small group before school for the past couple of years. If you know anything about that, then you probably also know how big of a failure it's been. Sure we gained a person or two, but nobody gained anything spiritually. Prepare for that to change next year. I knew the problem wasn't with the group, it was the leader; me. I was the problem. God gave me the gift of leadership, but where was I leading this group of people? It wasn't away from God, but it certainly wasn't closer to Him, either. This summer, I knew I had to make some changes. Little did I know how amazing those changes would be.
There was a senior, Joey, who came to the small group some weeks. He was an amazing speaker and was SO passionate about God. Joey was talking to us one day and he said that the secret to getting closer to God was to read the Bible. Yeah, it's God-breathed and the living word. So what? Big deal... right? Wrong. Thanks to technology, I downloaded an app on my phone called Daily Bible. Basically every morning since April or so, I have been waking up to a verse or two ready for me to read on my phone. It made me feel good. Yeah, I read the Bible every day... sorta... but I wasn't really reading anything, I wasn't soaking anything in, I wasn't hiding those nuggets of truth in my heart to hold on to. Once school got out in May, I had a lot of free time on my hands. I was messing around with my phone and with the Daily Bible app and I found a tab called Daily Plan. I clicked on it. There was a chapter from 4 different books that you were supposed to read that day. I scrolled down. Man, were there a lot of words. Was this really worth my time? Did I really want to get closer to God? The answer was yes.
I sat down and I read. I prayed. I didn't feel any different. I tried it again the next day, and then the next, and then the next. I'd pray that God would open my heart and let me receive His words. I'd read, then I'd thank Him for what He'd given me that day. As the days passed, I'd settled into somewhat of a routine. Making time to read and pray everyday. I started to take a closer look at how I felt. How I really felt. I felt full. No longer did I feel the emptiness eating away at me. No longer did I feel like something was missing. I felt complete. I pray that I keep this up. This feeling is fascinating. Nothing compares to the joy I've felt since digging into the Bible daily.
My prayer for today is that I keep reading and praying daily. I pray that I can be an example to those looking up to me and that I can finally lead people towards God without fear, shame, apathy, or laziness blocking the way.
So let us not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up. -Galatians 6:9
There was a senior, Joey, who came to the small group some weeks. He was an amazing speaker and was SO passionate about God. Joey was talking to us one day and he said that the secret to getting closer to God was to read the Bible. Yeah, it's God-breathed and the living word. So what? Big deal... right? Wrong. Thanks to technology, I downloaded an app on my phone called Daily Bible. Basically every morning since April or so, I have been waking up to a verse or two ready for me to read on my phone. It made me feel good. Yeah, I read the Bible every day... sorta... but I wasn't really reading anything, I wasn't soaking anything in, I wasn't hiding those nuggets of truth in my heart to hold on to. Once school got out in May, I had a lot of free time on my hands. I was messing around with my phone and with the Daily Bible app and I found a tab called Daily Plan. I clicked on it. There was a chapter from 4 different books that you were supposed to read that day. I scrolled down. Man, were there a lot of words. Was this really worth my time? Did I really want to get closer to God? The answer was yes.
I sat down and I read. I prayed. I didn't feel any different. I tried it again the next day, and then the next, and then the next. I'd pray that God would open my heart and let me receive His words. I'd read, then I'd thank Him for what He'd given me that day. As the days passed, I'd settled into somewhat of a routine. Making time to read and pray everyday. I started to take a closer look at how I felt. How I really felt. I felt full. No longer did I feel the emptiness eating away at me. No longer did I feel like something was missing. I felt complete. I pray that I keep this up. This feeling is fascinating. Nothing compares to the joy I've felt since digging into the Bible daily.
My prayer for today is that I keep reading and praying daily. I pray that I can be an example to those looking up to me and that I can finally lead people towards God without fear, shame, apathy, or laziness blocking the way.
So let us not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up. -Galatians 6:9
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